In the industry I am in, it’s normal for people to ask for my help. Being a coach, everyone expects you to help out unquestioningly – whether it’s in fundraising, helping them out in a community event or even with their own business. And it’s a great feeling knowing that people actually believe in you and your ability to make their lives and businesses better but just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should. What do I mean by this? It’s not being selfish, it’s about self-preservation. How do you know when to draw the line?
Firstly, you need to ask yourself some questions. Is doing the job for that person getting you to your goal? You see, we all have goals and I usually set mine during the start of the year. I have made a habit out of writing down all the things I want to achieve over the course of the next twelve months.
Now, before you say yes to that person, you have to ask yourself, if I help this person out is it getting me directly to my goal? If not then you don’t have to feel guilty for refusing to help because what happens is if you keep on saying yes, fearful that you might hurt their feelings, consequentially you will get sidetracked from what you are supposed to be doing to get to your goal. Sure, it is indeed satisfying to see family and friends achieve their goals but it should not be at your expense. Every minute you spend getting sidetracked is a minute wasted so make sure that if you help out, it has to be in line with your goal. Don’t let other people control your time.
The second question you need to ask is, is it changing people’s lives? Helping charities and fundraising activities are great but you can’t help them all. You have to decide for yourself what your fundraiser or charity is for the year and you need to stick to it. I have a genuine passion to help people but I am very strategic about who I’m going to help and the time I’m going to allocate for that particular person. It’s tempting to want to help everyone but when you give in to every demand of every person you meet, you’ll lose focus on your own goals and trust me, when you do, you’ll have the tendency to hate yourself for it. If you’re going to help make sure that it is along the path to your goal, your tribe, your community, your followers, your audience because that’s where you’ll make a significant impact.
Thirdly, just move on and don’t feel bad when you say no. In business and in life, you need to learn how to say no because if you’re always a yes person, some people will see this as a weakness and they may abuse your generosity. When you say no, there’s a big chance that you’ll feel bad about it. My advice? Don’t nurture those negative feelings. Remember, just because you can…don’t. You can’t help everyone and you can’t please everyone. The important thing here is that you set your goals because once you do, you can already know what needs your attention and what doesn’t.
If you are wanting to know more, I would love to offer you a 30 minute FREE Discovery Session with me personally. I will guarantee that after our 30 minutes together you will know what your next step will be in your life or in your business.
P.S. There are no catches – it’s FREE! Some things in life are still FREE.
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